dream this.

Listening To : Remember Me - The Birthday Massacre -- on endless repeat.
Activity[s] : Reading Glamour, trying not to cry.

Its safe to say Im lonely now.
Thats both the first line to this song, and how Im feeling.
All because of one person.
Really.

I shouldn't let myself be so affected by something no one can help.
Its no one's fault that school exists, and its hard to get away at the beginning of the year.
Its no one's fault that he just happens to live nine hours away.
And its no one's fault but my own that I never talk to him.
At least now I know he'll think of me.
But because, and only because, he can't come down here to visit.
Which fucking SUCKS.

Seriously?
I am so bummed right now.
I dont even know.
Im in a pissy mood, and my mum is bugging the crap out of me.
My head hurts, I feel sick, and I know I should eat but Im not hungry.
Talk about being absolutely insane.

In all honesty, I don't know what I'd do if he /did/ come.
I haven't seen him since January of last year. 2007.
God knows how he's changed in two years, I /definitely/ have.
For the better, maybe -- hopefully -- but still.

And now Im gonna go back to trying not to kill my FUCKING ANNOYING mother, and reading this article on a CHICK WHO DIED.
What now.

Ugh.
Someone save me.
Im miserably in love with someone I never see.