Reality.

My boyfriend is hurt.
Because when he twirls my hair around his finger,
and tells me he loves me,
there is no way for me to respond.
I sit in a silence, and he turns away.
I can say nothing, because I am full of doubt.
I cannot respond, even smile in response.
He blinks, and wonders if I heard...
I nod in response.
But still say nothing.
The same doubt I had to endure,
it follows me.
I can see the pain in his eyes.
And it scares me.
I want to kiss him, want to show him that I /do/ care, my silence isn't anything against him..
And I cannot.


Im worried.
I scare myself.
Nothing seems real anymore.
Nothing moves, nothing changes.
My life seems like a dream, one I think is real.
I need proof I did something, memories are not enough.
My heart is beating fast,
yet so very slow.
Ive listened to the same song about a million times...
It soothes me.
In its sadness...

This isnt because of anything Im used to.
Its odd..
Lonely.