failure.

Listening To : Boys, Boys, Boys -- Lady Gaga
Activity[s] : Failing at life.

Seriously. I fail SO HARD.
You know how I said I couldn't focus on my homework?
Well you know what?
Its 5 o'clock -- 5 hours since I started my homework.
You know what else?
I haven't gotten a SINGLE THING done. Not one! I thought I was getting somewhere, by getting THREE WHOLE PARAGRAPHS of my story written, but NO. I proceeded to erase it, because I hated it.
FIVE. HOURS. And all I have is a document with my heading on it, and a new copy of the blank assignment for preforming arts. I haven't read biology, or even done math or Italian.

But its not even like Ive been doing other things.
Sure, I have, but not in the general sense.
Usually, when Ive done nothing, it means Ive been off doing something else; msn, facebook, reading something stupid, etc.
But no. I try and do my homework, and I just cant. I dont even fucking understand it, let alone know what to do.
I just sit there, desperately trying to think, or type something [anything!], or plan, and I just think about NOTHING. My mind isnt even wandering!
Im just sitting here, mentally retarded, unable to do ANYTHING.
And I still have a shitload to do, considering I havent gotten any of it DONE.

What the hell am I supposed to tell my teachers?
"Yeah, I didn't do it, cause I was distracted only not really..."?
What the fuck kind of excuse is that?!

This is the most fucking ridiculous thing ever.
Im literally mentally incapable of doing my homework.
And I really, really want to cry.

i dont even know WHY.
Like. Sure, Im not on my Remeron, but I took my Adderall this morning!
And thats what its supposed to help with -- my complete and utter idiocy.

Maybe I'll do something equally fucked up.
Like go for a run.
-on crack-