is this glory?

Listening To : 37 mm -- AFI

My awful day;

I woke up, got dressed, and felt really, really sick.
And lately, Ive been finding out that my antidepressant, which I take at night, makes me sick. And if I dont sleep long enough, I wake up sick..

So I had to lay down, and because Id gotten only four hours of sleep AND was out of Adderall, which wakes me up / counterbalances how sleepy the Remeron makes me, I fell asleep.

So I had five minutes to do my makeup, looked like absolute shit. Fun.

First thing anyone said to me when I got to school was "Wishiah says she doesnt want to have anything to do with you."
And then Wishiah proceeded not to utter a single word to me the entire day, and instead just drag my friends away as I would be talking to them.

Keep in mind, she has NO REASON TO BE MAD AT ME. Shes just being a bitch. And IM sick of apologizing for stuff I didnt do, so Im not going to. I want to see if she will. She -is- my supposed best friend, anyway.

So then, after school.
I called my mum for a ride, and people were like yelling in my ear [not at me, though, at eachother. they were just nearby] because they were doing workstudy.

"GOD DAMN IT. You know I hate when you talk to other people when you're on the phone!"
"I wasnt?"
"Well. They were talking to you!"
"My name isnt Henry!"
"... Eh."
"Josh is just being obnoxious."
"Im being obnoxious?! EXCUSE ME. FUCKING BITCH."
"YOUR NAME ISNT JOSH."
"What did you want?"
"Nothing, nevermind."
"Dont do that."
"Im near -tears-, mother."
"Ive been near tears ALL DAY, so LAH DEE FUCKING DAH."

And THEN. I went to Dr. Geis with my dad, to talk about how he just randomly left. Because my trust in him has diminished greatly.
And as soon as I start to talk, dad goes "NO. YOU KNOW WHAT. I DONT NEED TO PUT UP WITH THIS. IF YOU CANT BE NICE, IM NOT TALKING TO YOU. I REFUSE."

And you know what a hard time I have with talking about things...
And Cliff fucking wonders why I do that.
That was THE biggest blow to my trying not to 'run away' in a LONG time.
I cried for an hour straight, while they talked about.. something.

Of course they didnt CARE, because noone cares about what Alyssa is feeling today. :/

There were good things that happened today, sure.
I got Pinkberry.
Preston was actually concerned, whut?
Dad opened a checking account for me.
I found the delight of frozen strawberries.
I watched four episodes of House...

And. Im faced with a dilemma.
Take my meds, and wake up sick, but stable?
Or don't take my meds, wake up on time, not feeling like SHIT, and just hope Im on an upswing?