Omigoodness.

Okay. So heres the dealiooo.
I have to get my room, my house, and my.. Me.. Perfect in two weeks.
Im making to-do lists.
And its gonna be hellllllllllllll.

Heres the one for my room :

ROOM

Step One :
Throw trash away
Put ALL clothes into ONE pile
Get everything out from under bed

Step Two :
Go through EVERYTHING, and get rid of unwanted/unused shiiit
Sort remaining stuff by category
Try not to die
Blast music very loudly

Step Three :
Plan organization
Rearrange furniture
Vacuum
No dying yet!!

Step Four :
Put shit away
Actually -do- the organization
Dance around

Step Five :
Vacuum, dust, polish, etc.
Decorate
Arrange things on surfaces
Redo bulletin board, etc.

Do you see what i mean?
And.. It really WILL take me forever.
Cause I have to do the bathroom, too.
And the house in general.
And make myself perfect at the same time...

Oi.

-butterflies-

Alright. Time for girly postinggg.
If you dont care, dont read.
Its really THAT simple. :D

So anyway.
The Greenie has a boyfriend. ;D
A really sweet one.
A 19 year old one, as well. o:

... Yeah. Okay. So. Meh. Im underage to him, and.. Whatever. x.x
Hes still amazing, he still loves me, and Im damn happy.

For once.

Aaaaannndddddd, since I know he'll never see this (Heh), ramble time. :]
His name is Blake, he lives in the Bay Area, and goes to the same college my mum went to. o.O
He has 2 kitties that I want to steal.
And he is coming down to visit me for Valentines Day, which is only 2. Weeks. Away. -squee-
So Im pretty much delighted.

Although its complicated.
Since Im 3 years younger, -and- underage.
I ended up spazzing out this morning and had to walk like, 2 miles at 6.30 am and freeze to death...
And then I slept.
-sigh-
Im so weird.

Yeah.
Yay me.

---

Now, lets try some -not- girly stuff.

School is pretty much confusing.
I still dont know what Im going to do this semester.
And honestly..
I dont -want- to go back and try AGAIN next year. Again.
Its too hard.
I mean, whenever I try to go to school, it NEVER works. x.x
I think I just need to be homeschooled, you know?
I dunno, though.
Like...
Im going to transfer back to Carp, so I can do the homeschooling there...
Cause people are asses?
I dunno. x.x

My life is so complicated.

Im cold, lulz.

So Im listening to 1973.

I haven't in a while. -nod-

Um.

I dont know what to say, rofl.

My life pretty much SUCKS ass.

'Cept for April. <3

Anywho.

yeh.

Everyone's like "Oh, by the way..."

And Im like "AH NO NOT MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE."

:]

I just read my WHOLE blog.

its pretty crazy.

Like woah.

Im a fucking POET sometimes.

Oh right.

So today was my brother's birthday.

And Ihave to look at the keyboard, otherwise I fail miserably at typing.

So.

Lately.

Cliff has been being an ass. >.>

WHat an.. Ass.

So.. Obtuse. XD

But really.

He likes to tell me I have pathetic taste in everything.

Gah.

D:

He also likes to wake me up in the mornings. >.>

More gah.

Im getting into one of those "Pretty much everyone hates me" modes.

But I cant get away with it, cause so many people.. Dont hate me.

Darnit. xD

All my plans, FOILED.

(Foil is pretty gangstaaaaaaaaaa. xD)

Anyway.

I miss people like Spencer and Zachary and Peter and Kara... :/

I want my -old- friends back. The one's I never talk to anymore.

Good times...

:q The days of the tonguelicker. :D

So, you wanna have a mental problem?

I barely even have a brain anymore...
Honestly...
I worry about myself a lot.
And no matter how much I ask for help or whatever, nothing ever changes.
Its an endless cycle, it seems..

So anyway. Today.
I went to the doctorrrr..
Nothing new or exciting, unfortunately.
We're never gonna figure out what the hell is wrong with me, I swear.
I have an MRI tomorrow on my brain.
Spooky, much.

Then we went to Carp..
That was okay.
My brother got a haircut, andddd.
We visited my aunt and uncle..
And had dinner with my grandma.
It was nice, even though we -had- to watch tv.
Tv.
Um, ew?

Then on the carride home..
Ahahahaha.
My brother got his head stuck in a desk today. ;D
I laughed so hard I made no noise.
Kick asssssss.

Fast forward. >>
I read my diary...
Its not an intelligent thing to do when your life has been super stressful and dramatic.
Its was crazyyyyy.
I relived 3 different relationships. o.o

Speaking of relationships.
i -still- have an ex boyfriend who won't talk to me.
I want soooo desperately to explain myself, you know?
Like, I still feel like a bitchy whore.
I -have- to tell him why it didn't work.
So I dont lose my miiiiiiiiiind.

God its cold in here...

Anyway.
Im still freaking out cause I have no one to love.
Like... Ugh.
Whenever I tell people that, theyre like "What the fuck. Everyone loves you. You could date anyone."
Umm, sooo not true.
I called Ellen today, and was like "So, how goes the boy scene?"
And shes like "Oh, Kyle held my hand today."
She doesn't realize how lucky she is..
Honestly.
Why is it that whenever I have a boyfriend I can't stand it, and when I dont, I can't stand that either?
It all seems very silly.

I got a lot to say to you, yeah I got a lot to say. I noticed your eyes are always glued to me. Keeping them here, and it makes no sense at all. They taped over your mouth, Scibbled out the truth with their lies, Your little spies. -- Paramore

So, you wanna have a mental problem?

.. Blogger hates me?

Shucks.

Blah. Updateeee.

Alrightyyyyyyy.

Post time. :D

Huzzah.

So.

Everyone keeps going "You havent blogged! Why haven't you blogged?!"

Im tired of it. ;D

I also have 20 minutes to write this.

Update on my life :

Its no better, if thats what you're thinking..

My mom is more spastic than ever, and shes been talking to my dad, making me sound bad and stuff.. ;-;

"They" decided theyre being too easy on me and need to make me do stuff I need to do. And while my dad might /kinda/ agree, I dont think he knows what he's done by letting her do that...

Im so doomed.

Last night madre threatened to send me away to like, Iceland. She wants to get rid of me, even though she deny's it.. People have a way of having a loosened tongue when theyre on drugs.

An its not like she was over exaggerating.. She said it so strongly, so surely.. Scared me.

My little brother ended up crying....

Speaking of little brothers.

Today I didnt want to hug him, and he pulled his "Well no wonder Alex broke up with you."

I nearly started crying.

Madre is pissed cause I wont eat the hummus she made me, but Im freaking sick.

Just the smell of it makes me sick, I cannot imagine what actually eating it would do. Not something Id like to puke up, is for sure. D:

Im not going back to school, which is apparent due to the fact it restarted today.. :/

Im sick of this whole thing, really. I would so much rather be dead, and just not have to deal with this hell that my life is now, but nooooooooo.

What the hell Im living for, I haven't the slightest idea.

I love no one, no one loves me, Im kind of lost and wandering emotionally... I dunno what to do, honestly.

Im really just sick of everything..

My mom yelling at me for no reason, the fact Im always in a bad mood, my schooling, my friends, my lack of love.. Everything. D:

I hate hate hate hate hate existance.

OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY DOES IT NEVER PUT IN ENTERS. -sobsob-

Fucking A, nothing works how I want it to. I WANT A FUCKING BLANK LINE.

Fucking bastard blogger shit fuck cunt.

(Thats how I am lately. Im seriously sitting here sobbing.)

She's Running Right Behind Him...

Actual post to follow...

I love this song. So pretty...

The Road Goes On Forever

Sherry was a waitress at the only joint in town
She had a reputation as a girl who'd been around
Down Main Street after midnight with a brand new pack of cigs
A fresh one hangin' from her lips and a beer between her legs
She'd ride down to the river and meet with all her friends
The road goes on forever and the party never ends

Sonny was a loner he was older than the rest
He was going into the Navy but he couldn't pass the test
So he hung around town he sold a little pot
The law caught wind of Sonny and one day he got caught
But he was back in business when they set him free again
The road goes on forever and the party never ends

Sonny's playin' 8-ball at the joint where Sherry works
When some drunken outta towner put his hand up Sherry's skirt
Sonny took his pool cue laid the drunk out on the floor
Stuffed a dollar in her tip jar and walked on out the door
She's runnin' right behind him reachin' for his hand
The road goes on forever and the party never ends

They jumped into his pickup Sonny jammed her down in gear
Sonny looked at Sherry and said lets get on outta here
The stars were high above them and the moon was in the east
The sun was settin' on them when they reached Miami Beach
They got a hotel by the water and a quart of Bombay gin
The road goes on forever and the party never ends

They soon ran out of money but Sonny knew a man
Who knew some Cuban refugees that delt in contraband
Sonny met the Cubans in a house just off the route
With a briefcase full of money and a pistol in his boot
The cards were on the table when the law came bustin' in
The road goes on forever and the party never ends

The Cubans grabbed the goodies and Sonny grabbed the Jack
He broke a bathroom window and climbed on out the back
Sherry drove the pickup through the alley on the side
Where a lawman tackled Sonny and was reading him his rights
She stepped into the alley with a single shot .410
The road goes on forever and the party never ends

They left the lawman lyin' and they made their getaway
They got back to the motel just before the break of day
Sonny gave her all the money and he blew her a little kiss
If they ask you how this happened say I forced you into this
She watched him as his taillights disappeared around the bend
The road goes on forever and the party never ends

Its Main Street after midnight just like it was before
21 months later at the local grocery store
Sherry buys a paper and a cold 6-pack of beer
The headlines read that Sonny is goin' to the chair
She pulls back onto Main Street in her new Mercedes Benz
The road goes on forever and the party never ends

Kitties!

Lookit!!!!!
Glowing kitties!!!!!!!!!

I totally want one.

The best song ever.

Good Charlotte - Misery

Take a look around
Don't you see it
See that you are the only real face in the room
No one here has a clue what your feelin'
Don't feel bad
Keep your sadness alive

Look at all these happy people
Living their lives
Look at all these plastic people
There's nothing inside
Look at all these shallow people
Telling their lies
Look at all these empty people, people

Don’t you know
That misery loves company
Yeah I heard
That misery was looking for me
Happiness, is a face that don't look good on me
Yeah I heard
That misery comes looking for me
Whoa, misery's my company
Whoa, misery is looking for me

Looking for me
The hands are up now
Everybody singing
Everybody’s movin’
They've programe their feelings
their synchronizin'
And criticizin'
Don't feel bad
Keep your sadness alive

Look at all these happy people
Living their lives
Look at all these plastic people
They're dying inside
Look at all these shallow people
Telling their lies
Look at all these empty people, people

Don't you know
That misery loves company
Yeah I heard
That misery was looking for me
Happiness, is a face that don't look good on me
Yeah I heard
That misery comes looking for me
Whoa, misery's my company
Whoa, misery is looking for me

Don't you know this misery loves me
Don't you know this misery loves me
Don't you know this misery loves me
Don't you know this misery loves me
Loves me

So you're tired of runnin'
You're tired of hurting
You're tired of living in their lie
You're tired of listening
You're tired of hurting
Keep your sadness alive, alive, alive

Don't you know
That misery loves company
Yeah I heard
That misery was looking for me
Happiness, is a face that don't look good on me
Yeah I heard
That misery comes looking for me

Don't you know
That misery loves company
Yeah I heard
Misery was looking for me
Happiness, is a face that don't look good on me
Yeah I heard
That misery comes looking for me

Whoa, misery's my company
Whoa, misery is looking for me

Doo doo doo.

Okay. So, Im listening to like, the best Enya song evah.
I Will Find You. <33
Its muchly pretty.

SO. Anyway.
My life is kinda, interesting. :p

Apparently I have to have /more/ medical tests...
And I might test out of highschool..
Go to college instead.
Which, since Im so scared of people.. Seems kinda silly.
But whatever.
It would be better than highschool, anyway.
Even though my friends...
Well, whatever.

I watched the third Pirates movie today...
It was stupid, but I totally laughed the whole time. :p
Fantastic.
"Right this way, Mrs. Fish."
And then the wedding....
"Do you take me as your husband?!" "I do!" "... Great!!"
Halfway through a massive swordfight with the fish people. xDD

Anyway.
Mater is complaining cause the guy she wanted to date and love and whatnot died...
Shes still not over that one.
:/
Poor mater.
Happened like, 4 years ago. D:

Ive been reading.. A lot.
5 books in the last 2 days.
And 6 in the last 4. :p

And now I cant wait for The Golden Compass to come out. <333
Sooooo excited.
Omg.
Omgomgomg.
You have no idea.
xD
I love that series.
My desktop is Lyra. :p
Bite me.

So anyway.
I think I might take a shower... Im bored. But.
I dont feel nice. D:

People piss me off.
Guys are bastards.
[This is in reference to my mother...]
Her 'boyfriend'... Well, Ill just say hes antisocial, against relationships, and possessive, all at once.
o.O

Alyssa, out.

"VOLDEMORTS NIPPLE!"
"Whaaaaaaaaaat?!"